fail

you know what really sucks?
its sucks to
fail.
pail
frail
tail
hail
fail.
don't you hate it when you
fail.
miserably?
epically?
terribly?
badly?
magnificently?
it always really sucks to
fail.
you try so hard
and what do you get?
failure.
you know what doing terribly
on a test
is called?
failing.
and guess what?
every single time
it really sucks
it really sucks to
fail.

the loop

it bothers me
when my friends talk
they talk about things
I've never heard of
ugh
cant they at least fill me in?
explanations?
teach me their dances
tell me about the gossip
they're in
the loop
I'm out of
the loop
it really sucks

cancer

(dedicated to Anna B. you know who you are)

cancer

death

spreading throughout someones body

young

old

in between

cancer

can't fix it

can't stop it

can't lose it

can't keep it from coming

back

cancer

killing

9 year olds

15 year olds

27 year olds

50 year olds

73 year olds

everyone

can we stop it?

no

plain and simple

negative

loved ones

depressed

what should we do?

no one knows

cancer

unknown

after a long time

still no answer

to cancer

pencil shavings

there are many pencil shavings

sunken to the bottom of the sharpener

like thoughts

sunken to the bottom and the dusty corners of my brain

when i want to think of then

they are just barely there

as thin a pencil shavings

stuck on the tip of my tongue

i cant help but be nagged

i want them to come back to me

stupid thoughts

slip away so quickly

too thin

sink

down

down

down

like pencil shavings in the bottom of the sharpener

urgh

i cant pinpoint

where they came from

what they are

stupid slivers

never get back

that's all they'll ever do

nag me

slip away

pencil shavings

my birthday

my birthday is coming up

and guess what?

i guess this is obvious

but i guess I'm excited

you guess I'm not

1 year older i guess

1 year wiser i guess

are you sure?

you guess I'm not

you're right

all i am going to be

i guess I'm going to be

is a little bit closer to dying

yeah that's a sad thought

but its true

dying

happens to everyone

i guess

but how should i know?

my birthday hasn't come yet

i haven't died yet

I'm glad i guess

lets all just sit around and

guess

guess

guess

exaggeration

when i get

a tiny cut

a splinter

or something

i go crazy

I'm worried

i cry

i hyperventilate

i don't know what to do

i make a huge

deal

about

a tiny cut

this is how the world works

exaggeration

explosion

when I'm

worried

or

sad

or

confused

my heart swells

into a huge bubble

that barely will fit in my chest

i cant breathe

i cant talk

i cant cry

and the bubble expands

larger

larger

larger

until it bursts

and i

cry

talk

and

breathe

something occurs

inside of me

an

explosion

band-aid

you can bandage

yourself up

as much as you want

but you will still feel broken

not full

cracked

fractured

destroyed

even if its

flexible

waterproof

covered in designs

you wont feel better

still broken inside

excuse me

does it really help to be polite?

or is it a waste of time.

should you always say thank you?

or will the thanked not notice.

is it better to say excuse me?

when the excused never does.

would it help to say sorry?

even if you are not.

i wonder

i wonder

because if I'm right

i don't have to be polite!

criticize

people put themselves

down

why do they criticize themselves?

does it feel good?

cant they

compliment how

amazing

and

unique

and

smart

they are?

cant they be happy being humans?

with flaws but humans are smart and

decisive

and

we have opposable thumbs

for goodness sake!

bounce back

everyone changes

but i wish they would just

bounce back

into place

and be

bounced back

to their old selves

like rubber bands

they would stretch out of place

change

and

bounce back

i wish

but once

they have been stretched

they do not bounce back

they stay

and the tension

of being stretched stays

they wont

bounce back

robotic

i don't like robots

they have no feelings

sometimes people act like robots

no feelings

at all

its terrible when people surround you who

are

robotic

no feelings

nada

nothing at all

empty of

empathy

sympathy

i don't like robots

forgetfulness

i hate it when

i tell someone something

they have to do

over and

over and

over

again

then i tell them

again

for the millionth time

and they say

"you never said that!"

when they finally do

what I've told them to do

over and

over and

over

again

its done

but i still feel mad

that i wasted my time

saying

over and

over and

over

again

for one person

to do something

important

to

me

think

sometimes

i like to sit and ignore

everything

and just think about

anything

in my mind

i wander through

memories

and

futures

thought

thinking

think

happy

curtains

close me in

from the outside world

so its dark

in my world

and when i open

the curtains

there is a new day

with a

new sun

and new water

and new

blooming flowers

and that makes me

happy

good impressions

i want to make good impressions

on everyone

but sometimes

people just don't like me

i wish they would all think

I'm a good person

and that i left

a good impression on their

life

i hope that they don't walk away thinking about how much they

hate me

or how much they

would not like to see me again

id like for them to think

shes cool

or that I'm fun

to be around

but you cant always make a good impression

:(

arguments

arguments

are tennis matches

louder

harder

hits and insults

back and forth

anger

radiates off of the arguers

no one else

utters

a word

and when its done

everyone breathes

in

and

out

a sigh of

serious relief

ahhhh

pant

dog

lies on the ground

its a hot day

she is panting

rib cage

falling

up

and

down

pant

pant

pant

dog

is smiling

full of glee

tongue out

moving

with the

pant

pant

pant

beat

eyes open wide

and

twinkling with joy

panting

is so

sweet

crackle

twist

crackle

crunch

i love the sound of

dry leaves

underfoot

twist

crackle

crunch

hum

when i was little

i did not understand

how nice it is

to just settle down

and

do something

over

and

over

again

hum

a settling repeat

it relaxes you

like humming

hum

hum

hum

repeat

again

and

again

like

a hum

click

my brain

takes pictures

of shapes

like people

i always remember

the shape of a person

i can always draw a person

off the top of my head

no figure

to look at or copy

i used to think

that everyone could

take pictures

with their minds

not exact

like

i cant read something

and always remember it

but

i will always remember the format

font

shape of the paragraphs

but now i know

that not everyone can

look

then

draw

without having to look again

like a camera

but not as exact

click

the computer brain

my brain processes signals

it is a natural computer

but more advanced than a computer

cause it is a home-made computer

no one can recreate

the computer brain

order

why does there always have to be an order to things?

a

b

c

why not b c a?

breakfast

lunch

dinner

why couldn't it be lunch breakfast dinner?

1

2

3

why not 1 3 2?

leaves

trunk

roots

why couldn't it be roots trunk leaves?

comforter

sheet

mattress

why not mattress comforter sheet?

why cant we just be creative and crazy with

the order

of things

inspiration

sometimes

poems come easily to me

slipping into my mind

sneaking through my head

sometimes

they come hard

i take hours to think of what to say

or my minds gone blank

i wish they would come easily all the time

i wish too much

and am too curious

always asking questions

anticipating good things

and

thinking of poems that

orbit around my life

life is good

relax

I'm always worrying about
stupid things
that i shouldn't worry about
I'm still young and happy
so i should sit down
get cozy
have some hot chocolate
and
relax

gum

pop the stick of gum into your mouth

chew

chew

chew

gum softens to a gooey mess

saliva gurgles

brother shouts at you for being a

"noisy chewer"

you still chew

hes still mad

blow bubble balloons

until gum is tasteless

spit

spit

spit

into garbage

grab another stick

patterns

there are so many patterns

with flowers and

squiggles

and stripes

and dots

and tessellations

curls, swirls

patterns reflecting your mood

covering

clothing

and carpets

and chairs

and sheets

walls, malls

i love patterns

dogs

dogs
furry, loving
drooling, wagging, playing
i love my dog.
dogs

blogger

the blogger blogs
I'm a blogger
addicted to blogging
expressing my feelings
for
everything
blog
blog
blog
poems
but they are also short stories
mirroring my actions and
experiences
I'm
hoping that you can understand
my feelings during these
stories
hoping that you have experienced my stories
too
so you can identify
with them
I'm the blogger
signing out

wish

fairy tales
could never come true in
real life
because
real life
is hard
and you don't always get what you want in
real life
even if you wish that
you could have a fairytale ending,
real life
wont allow that to happen
but you never stop wishing
wish
wish
wish

stamped

friends
make marks on your life
like stamps
the stamp will stay forever
etched in your past
and in your future
permanent ink
never lost
but maybe neglected
maybe annoyed
but still will forever be
stamped
in your life

ear buds

ear buds
are minuscule
but when they
meet your ears
they fill your mind
with music
much larger
than you would think
would come from
minuscule ear buds
pop
they fall out of your ears,
too big for them
the music is paused
maybe those ear buds
were larger than you thought

not real

lip synching
is a lie
the syncher
is tricking
their viewers
they are
LIARS!
decieving
their
supporters
they are
criminals
lip synching
should be
illegal
because
most of
the time
it does not
look real
it is not
as special
as a real
performance
so i will yell
at the end
of the show
LIARS!!!!!!

race #2

does everything always have to be a race?
is it always better to be first?
always challenging everyone to races
life doesn't last forever
so we should
take it slow
be happy with a
slow
day by day
pace
month by month
week by week
minute by minute
live in the moment
not the future
but never race
to the finish
stay young while you can
don't
race
its okay to be
second

race

people make bets when there are races

sometimes they lose and sometimes they win

big bets little bets

racing around

the racetrack

fast slow

crashing slashing

will all the cars make it

to the finish?

or will they all

blow up

like huge balloons

with mushroom explosions

covering the betters

with tiny sparks

and red smoke?

they race

to be winner

and betters

go crazy

cause they want

money

their bet to be right

to becomes rich

race

race

race

yuck

i hate dirty cities
huge
littered
cities
there is no sanctuary in a
huge
littered
city
and often in
huge
littered
cities
there are terrible people
who should go to jail
for many crimes
they loiter
all over the place
you are never safe in a
huge
littered
city
pickpockets etc will
hurt you
that is why i find
huge
littered
cities
yucky

dark

I'm most comfortable
when it is dark
and quiet in the
early morning
no one is awake
except me
I'm living in my
dawn world
no one
to bother me
tell me that i cant do anything
i am truly free
in the dark

no difference

clothes
are my extra layers of skin
they are not me
they make no difference to my personality
they just reflect, show
it to people
i don't want people to judge me by my clothes
as i said, they are just extra layers of skin
thin
translucent layers
they will never change me
not me
they will only be there
extra layers
of anything but
me

weird

you're only called weird
if everyone else is the same
but you are not
but isn't it better to be different?
or will you only get teased or ignored
called
weird
like you are an alien
but you are from the same species
human
not weird
or alien
nobody can call you names
without being
weird
or
alien
themselves

no grip

everyone is moving too fast
changing without grabbing hold
of me
so that i am left behind,
the one who is a
baby
and when i finally catch up
they have already moved on
still not having a firm grip
on
me
i hate being left behind
not being told whats so great
about moving on
so i stay back
and i wonder
if they did take me
would i refuse?

tall

i used to be short
but i
shot up
like the beanstalk in that fairytale
fast
more than an inch a month
i think
up
up
up
taller and taller
so that i am almost as tall as
my parents
wow
I'm
so tall
almost as tall as someone 2 years older
than me
wow
wow
wow
up
up
up
tall

everyone hates pictures

everyone hates pictures
there is always something that you want to change
and you cant
cause a pictures a picture
the smiles not real
its fake
the hair wasn't brushed
its messy
the eyes have green pupils
instead of black
the angle makes the person look fat
not thin
we should be thankful for pictures
we've not always had them
but still,
everyone hates pictures

wait

a photo album has tons of pictures
that show time
stopped
i wish
that
time
would
wait awhile
so i could stop
time and see all
the good around me
i just want to yell, as loud as i can
WAIT!

tiny

i love the trill of
tiny voices
coming from
tiny kids
yelling and crying in
tiny words
toddling around on
tiny legs
smiling with
tiny, toothy grins
their eyes twinkle like
tiny stars
looking so cute in
tiny pigtails
and
tiny hats
i would love to say to
tiny tots
TRILL ON!

behind the wrinkles

i wonder what is behind the wrinkles
of grandparents?
are they secretly adventurous
or waiting to die?
i wish i could look through the wrinkles
into the past
were they daredevils?
did they live in some faraway country?
if you took away the wrinkles
would you see regular people?
I'm always wondering
and thinking
what is behind the wrinkles?

the best music

laughing is the music of life
each ha, a higher not from a scale
higher
higher
higher
when DO repeats, the notes go down
lower
lower
lower
when it goes up ur mood lightens
and when down, ur mood becomes
as dark as the haunted forest
but it comes around as the scales turn
in
circles
circles
circles

l love books

the book is read
like expressions
perceived by each reader
in a different way
maybe they say
i loved! it was great!
or their expression shows extreme hate
or their body language says it was a bore
they'd much rather read a bunch of folk lore
why is that? the first people inquire
the slow pace made me tire
but in the end it does not matter
the book is read
still perceived in unique ways
after all, the impression
of it
stays

spin

life is like my laundry
there are dirty clothes
like elderly people
they go for a spin in the washing machine
like when they die
and then they come out
brand new
like rebirth
a new baby
joining
everyone in the world
and when the baby gets older
it becomes dirty laundry
and must have a
spin
in the washing machine

sooth

when i am angry
i listen to music
to sooth my thoughts
i listen to music
i love how your favorite song can
pull
you
together
it can take your feelings and
let
them
out
without taking your anger out
on
someone
else
or you blowing up the problem and making a
mountain
out of
a molehill
and in the end you feel better
and you can
apologize

the star is not perfect

there are some people who want to be
in the center of the circle
they want to be the star of the show
the pick of the litter
the popular
in style
funny
person
but
i don't
i want to be always on the edge
watching
noticing
seeing
and
looking
knowing
hearing
keeping all secrets locked in my mind
hearing all rumors but not spreading them
keeping my opinion locked in my heart
while the star of the show dazzles on
but i SEE them
i NOTICE their insecurities
i will always know
that the star is not perfect

nothing

don't you hate it when people ignore you
and they know you're waiting for a reply?
you wait wait wait
forever waiting for that reply that never comes
and you still wait
until your faith in that person vanishes
until there is just a sliver of trust between the two of you
and you still wait
for someone else
to fill your sorrow'
replace your non-replyer
but they never come
until you hide away from everyone
so your heart cannot be broken
once
twice
thrice
and it will never be
fixed

deal

girls gossip
i don't know
what they are saying
its about me
i can tell by their pointing
in my direction
stupid girls
talking about me
my friends
etc
saying
ill tell you if you tell me
but don't tell him or her
i promise i wont
but they do
they tell everyone
etc
etc
etc
except me

stupid decisions

why cant people choose
whats what
who's their friend
who is not
what their favorite food
what makes them sick
if they are giving a treat
or playing a trick
if the trick was just playing
or if it was mean
if they think you are fat
or really quite lean
if they like your new hair
or if they think its a hot mess
do they like your present
or will they hide it away
im so tired of people not being decisive
about decisions
that
affect
me

the crime

should a poem rhyme?
would it be such a crime if my poem didn't rhyme?
i hope not
'cause i like to just say
what i am feeling
at that time
during that day
while that minute
ticks away
maybe it rhymes,
maybe not
will u get caught?
if so, by whom?
is there a rhyme police?
are they in my room?
id feel like i was in a tomb
if the rhyme police told me
my poem had to rhyme
that there were rules about
rhyming
punctuation
capitalization
in poetry
then they arrested me
for not rhyming
would it be such a crime if my poem didnt rhyme?

smart

i am the last one standing
again
we are playing a review game
again
people tell u to sit down
again and again
if you are sitting you cannot answer questions
again and again
the strategy is to make smart people sit
again and again and again
so that i am the last one standing
again and again and again
then i am declared best of class
and i feel triumph
again and again and again and again
because i'm smarter than those people who sit others down
and i can say
again and again and again and again
that they were wrong to make me the last one standing
again